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The Dark Side of Being a Leader


We’ve almost rounded the sun once more. Less than 2 weeks left in 2021! And I turned 40 on top of it. Feels like an end of a chapter and the beginning of the next. This year was hard. If you weren’t hard enough on yourself, I’m sure you felt judged by many people for how you’ve decided to deal with the pandemic, and how you thought about protecting your family, healthcare, closings/openings, the economy, the kind of leader you are, and many other things.

I wanted to say…

… thank you for your support during this year.

We have the most amazing people within our community who went out of their way to support me and the FIRMSconsulting team during this year, and during the entire pandemic. When masks were in short supply one of our incredible members made sure the entire FC team had enough masks. We have a prelaunch team that helps us polish the books before it is released to the broader community. We have amazing members doing all kinds of supportive acts of kindness to ensure the success and wellbeing of the company. And I am so grateful for each and every one of you.

As you know, we don’t get everything right. I wish I built a bigger team earlier. I wish we could have been more consistent this year with emails to our community. I wish I could have gotten out in our community more. I wish I could have seen my family more. I wish I could have finished a bunch of big projects that are still unfinished going into 2022. And I judge myself for this kind of stuff. You probably do too.

But what I also know is people within our community are a very rare bunch. We are leaders, we take responsibility for our clients, teams, and families, we do our best, we demand more from ourselves than anyone has the right to demand of us. We take action when other people don’t have the courage to act… because leaders go first.

When people do judge you remember that:

1. You will always be judged if you are a leader. The only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing. But there are also a lot of people out there that will support you and cheer you on. I am one of them. Every member of the FIRMSconsulting team is one of them. And as you gain momentum you will start noticing more support.

In my own career and business, it hurts my heart to see negative comments about our work because we put so much effort and hundreds of thousands of dollars (even millions of dollars and more for people who know how to use the materials) of value into our Insider membership, SCR-Advanced membership, books, and programs, which are available at a price unequivocally below the value offered.

So, for example, every time I would see a review saying nasty, untruthful things about a book that I knew was changing the lives of many people around the world, it would really hurt my heart because fewer people would get the book as a result of that comment. But then, as momentum grew and more people have seen the results from the books, I started receiving multiple messages per week from around the world on how our books impacted someone’s business or career. Here are some messages I just received.

And this is what gives me additional support to be spending this Christmas and New Year working on new books for you guys.

2. Many people who judge you are uninformed, and to be frank, don’t really care. They often have feeling significant as a major need in their lives and by judging you, belittling your efforts, even though just for a little while, they feel a little more important, a little more significant in their own lives.

Coming back to people who would be posting nasty comments online, often hiding behind anonymity. Think about the type of person who would do that. With so little time that we have on this earth who would decide to invest their precious time belittling someone else’s work?

The people who judge you are usually casual observers who know nothing about you and, frankly, don’t care about you. They are advancing their own agendas such as trying to feel a little more important, a little more significant by belittling and judging someone else. Those are NOT professional or informed assessments.

So please keep in mind that most belittling, judging, and trolling you’ll ever receive as a leader is not worth paying attention to. It’s not coming from pros.

Use it as free advice to see if there is any value there. Some judgment, some criticism has the potential to make you better, sharper, and more advanced. If not, feel compassion for those people. They are miserable, often significance-driven people who are not contributing to the world at the level they could if that is how they choose to spend their limited time on earth.

Google any great leader and you will find a ton of nasty, soul crashing comments about them online. Don’t let judgment stop you from contributing at the highest level you can.

You have supported my efforts, and our team’s efforts this year. I am very grateful.

People always judge me and my team online for something – too long books, not long enough books, hard to find you online you don’t market enough, you have too much marketing, you are female and why should we listen to you then, too direct in your feedback to clients, not direct enough in your feedback to clients, too expensive, not expensive enough, too much free stuff, not enough free stuff.

But you guys have always supported me, and I never forget it.

From our recent Strategy. Part 1 launch that naturally (not because of a giant ad budget) went to number 1 bestseller status on Amazon…

… or reviews (we read every review for books, podcasts, and apps) for the Strategy Skills podcast that this week hit the 200th episode …

I’ve felt your support, attention, and appreciation. Even on the days I got nasty reviews and comments for my work and my team’s work from trolls. Even on the days I’m too hard on myself.

So, thank you.
I am incredibly grateful for you all. And I wish you a warm and happy holiday season.

Before you go, here’s what I would like to know this week: What needs to happen in 2022 for you to feel you had an extraordinary year for your life, career, and business, that you were the kind of leader you could really be proud of? 

Email [email protected] and let us know. I will read every reply.

Take care,

CEO, FIRMSconsulting

P.S. We hope you will find this message helpful. Email [email protected] and let us know what needs to happen in 2022 for you to feel you had an extraordinary year for your career and business, or even generally for your life. I will read every reply. And as you are building your skills with FIRMSconsulting Insider materials, SCR-Advanced, our booksadvice sessions coaching, The Consulting Sales Rainmaker coaching program, The Published Author program, or any other resources, please also focus on building a skill set that will serve you for the rest of your life, versus only focusing on achieving a short-term goal.

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